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Of course, when they met in person the messy fleshy actuality of these men interfered with the fantasies she spun during the online flirtation.

But when flirting online, fantasies run free because the experience of the other is comparatively unconstrained by who they are.

Over the years I have spent lots of time in my psychology practice hearing single patients—as well as the occasional not so single patient—talk about online dating experiences. I’ve even presented at professional conferences on the topic. One finding, and the topic of this post, is that online dating includes pleasures that share a common psychology with the more general experience of sexual enjoyment.

Online flirtation can be more like closing one’s eyes for kiss that never comes than many realize.

OKCupid, the popular and free online dating site, is in the news.

Their dormant research blog “oktrends” has returned with a report from recent experiments conducted on unsuspecting legions logging-in looking for love, or something.

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