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In men, not being able to get an erection can be an early warning sign of diabetes or heart disease.

And some medications, including antidepressants and blood pressure drugs, can lower your sex drive.

That's because the pressure put on the pudendal nerve and artery can decrease the blood supply to that region. Share your concerns with your health care provider, who can help you explore what alternatives you have. "Sex takes work, and you have to focus on it just like everything in your relationship," Horowitz says.

In a guest column at The Guardian , sex writer "Girl on the Net" tackles the complaint that women hold more sexual power because they can "get sex whenever they want." You've probably heard guys whine about how unfair it is that a woman could just "walk into a bar" and get laid while men face much less assured odds when trying to lure strangers into sex.

"When the relationship's alive like that, the 10-minute ‘let's sneak off and do it' quickie works great," Steinorth says.

The desire will just grow from there." A quick sexual encounter may regain its excitement once you’ve reconnected.

You're stressed out over deadline pressures at work.

The Solution: Spice It Up "When you're in a long-term relationship, you get into a routine," says ob-gyn Renee Horowitz, founder of the Center for Sexual Wellness in Michigan.

"Ultimately, low self-image comes down to not being in love with yourself," Allison says. That way you can shift the focus from your own insecurities to what makes being together fun.

"And if you don't love yourself, you're not going to share yourself with someone else. The Solution: Don't Suffer in Silence Sometimes it's not that you're not feeling in the mood; it's that your body isn't cooperating because sex is painful.

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