One was a guy who was interested in talking to me, and the other was acting as his wingman.The wingman walked up to me as his friend stood beside him and screamed over the music, “You’re perfect!Don’t ask us “Why do black people like or do _____?” You can’t expect one person to know all things black culture.We’ve recently offered suggestions on how people of color can approach their white partner on the issue of race.And while of course the topic of race should be an ongoing conversation with your significant other, things would go a lot smoother if men — — were able to identify and prevent racial tension from the very beginning.So in order to combat the harmful stereotypying of our people, try to compliment us without the caveat! It’s assumed that that everyone belonging to that group thinks and behaves the same way, but that is never – – the case.
This won’t apply to every black woman, but it wouldn’t hurt to infuse some intersectional feminism into your game.
Instead, remember that black women, like all people, have varying interests, backgrounds, and obstacles that they face daily.
Try to think of a black woman as an individual, and not as the chosen speaker for a whole diverse group.
So, as you’re getting to know this woman, be sure to keep the following in mind: Race is going to come up in any interracial coupling, but These are perfect examples of microaggressions.
When you compliment a black woman in this way, you are implying that we are exceptions to the rule — the rule being that that black women are not attractive, intelligent, or posses any other positive attributes.