Dating after divorce when you have children
Dating after divorce can be a minefield for the midlife woman.Perhaps even thornier than pondering what to wear on a date, where to go, who pays — not to mention how you even find people to date in this brave new world of Internet match-ups — is getting over your reluctance to take a stab at it. "A divorced woman may feel very vulnerable at this stage, in part because she used to have a spouse to 'protect' her and now she has to go out into the world on her own," says Diana Kirschner, Ph D, author of .It’s understandable that as a parent, you might be worried about the outcome, but it’s important to know that your kids are likely feeling the same way.That’s why it’s vital to discuss the notion of Mom or Dad dating after the divorce, so any anxieties or grievances can be out in the open and any doubts can be expelled."Online dating is not only mainstream, it's one of the best ways to widen your search, rather than just hoping that you'll meet someone in the coffee shop," says Dr. And these days, there's a site for everyone, from e Harmony and Match to niche sites like JDate.Check out our Guide to Online Dating to learn the basics including setting up a profile to taking a relationship offline. Kirschner says it's easy to build up a fantasy of what he is like based on his profile and the emails you exchange.Be sure to reassure your child that you have enough love to go around, and no matter what happens with this potential new partner, being a great parent is still your top priority.When your children are teenagers, it can be one of the trickiest times to broach this conversation—hormones, mood swings, and emotions could be running high on the surface.
So how can you make post-divorce dating — whether you're looking for a good time or a good (relationship-minded) man — less daunting?Be sensitive to how they’re feeling about this shift, and Divorce Help for Parents cautions that there could be similarities in your situations—you can use this as a talking point.Since your teens are also likely dating, it is important to talk with them about how it may be awkward to have a parent dating at the same time.Second, you can compare what you like and don't like.Maybe one guy is very funny, but you enjoy another man's intellectual stimulation.