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But as more people choose to marry later in life, few social institutions have arisen to replace the role that local communities, families and schools once played.Internet dating may finally be stepping into that breach.'' The Internet gives the impression, and it may or may not be truthful, that you can find someone who is more specifically tailored to your desires,'' said David M.'' And if the person's cute it's hard not to give it some thought.'' But for Jonathan Gerstel, 40, a university fund-raiser who was looking for a Jewish woman in Durham, N.C., with a kind disposition and at least shoulder-length hair, JDate proved the perfect tool.'' Then in real life it's a completely different story.'' After enough of such encounters, many online daters burn out.Those who do find partners say they are often plagued by the insidious sense that they might find someone better -- if only they paged through a few hundred more profiles.'' If you get unsolicited e-mails coming in it's hard not to look,'' said David Kleinbard, a researcher for a credit ratings agency in New York who has dated several women from JDate, a Jewish online dating service.

'' And as you get older it's hard to find a deep bond with people because you've had rich lives and you haven't lived them together.'' After a few unremarkable dates, Ms.Gardner, who flew to Houston recently to meet a woman he found on the new site.Web sites like (Time Out New York), and offer online dating services by pooling a collection of profiles submitted by their younger, more urban subscribers, through a template provided by their New York-based company, Spring Street Networks.Most online dating deception is of the run-of-the-mill variety.'' It's amazing how all women say they're slender when a lot of them are overweight,'' said one 79-year-old Manhattan man who lists himself as 69 on his profile.A Culver City, Calif., woman who lists the adjacent, more upscale Santa Monica as her residence, said, '' I swear every time they put 5-10 you have to deduct 3 inches.'' But what is most persistently frustrating, veteran online daters say, is not so much the obvious lies as the difficulty in judging physical chemistry through virtual communication.'' Certain things look really good on paper,'' said Rebecca Hammond, a computer consultant in Manhattan who has met several boyfriends through

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